Monthly Archives: June 2026

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My Little Blue Bikini

Category:Creative Writing,Memoirs,Non Fiction,The Match Still Burns,Writing Tags : 

Not every memory from those early years carries weight and shadow. Some of them are just… pure joy. This is one of those.

excerpt from The Match Still Burns - my little blue bikini - some of the happy stories

I was all of five years old when I got a spanking new blue bikini.

I don’t remember who gave it to me, was it the babysitter, or my mother? I often wondered.

Part of me hopes it was my mother… that maybe even through her own tormented life, she had felt some love for me, but just didn’t know how to show it.

I couldn’t wait to go show my Lee my new blue bikini. She only lived a few houses down from me on the same side of the street. We were best of friends.

I paused briefly at the front door for dramatic effect and then floated outward, as graceful as a butterfly. I could feel the coolness of the concrete step beneath my bare feet. One step down, then two—and pause again.

With one hand perched on my chubby little hip, I did not just walk down that laneway. Oh no, I fluttered and sashayed, swinging my little bum left to right, right to left. A young goddess in the making.

The smile on my face stretched from ear to ear. I was about to show the world my spanking new blue bikini, and the excitement was almost too much to bear.

As I climbed up the rickety old winding staircase to Lee’s house, I screamed out, “Lee, Lee, come see, come see what I got.”

Within seconds, Lee’s grandmother came bursting out through the side screen door, looking quite worried and frazzled.

“What’s all the fuss, what’s going on,” Mrs. Picco said, looking around to see if someone was hurting yet another one of her babies. Mrs. Picco was always so nice to me. I liked her very, very much. She made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I liked to pretend sometimes that she was my mom. I bet she’d be ok with that.

“Look at my new bikini,” I told her, my face and eyes beaming with pride. I honestly do not think I could stretch my mouth any further. I was grinning so much, my cheeks were beginning to ache.

Upon realizing no one was actually trying to hurt or mangle her little girl, Mrs. Picco smiled and burst out into the most boisterous laughter I had ever heard. Then just as quickly, she turned away and hurried back inside. Leaving me standing there quite puzzled.

Within minutes, however, she appeared again in the doorway, this time carrying a gigantic pan of water. Stepping out onto the old wooden platform stoop, she ever so gently laid this beautiful, overflowing, splashing reservoir of pure joy at my feet.

Squealing with delight, I wiggled and jiggled my tiny little derriere into that blissful pan of water, giggling and laughing at its coolness kissing the bottom of my new blue bikini. With each dip and dunk, I squealed even louder.

My young life could not get any better.


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Supreme Court of Newfoundland – Appellant Mary Francis Dinn – 1992

Category:Creative Writing,Foster Care,Memoirs,Newfoundland,Non Fiction,Writing Tags : 
The Match Still Burns by Judith Mallard

I have to say – this is the most supportive statement I have read that perfectly described this Appellant. “A sadistic, remorseless person who now happens to be old.” I find no comfort when reading “Guilty on all accounts.” This woman who Children Services once described as:

4-7-68: One of the very best homes.

20-10-69: Excellent Home.

14-5-70: Continue to provide excellent care & service for all their children.

6-4-71: W.O. feels this is an Excellent F.H. Children receiving lost of love & care.

This sadistic, remorseless person was granted care of forty-six children in a ten year span. And she was found guilty on five counts. What about the other forty-one. The walking wounded.


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BOOKS TO READ

Category:Book Reviews,Coming of Age,Creative Writing,Fiction,Grief & Healing,Young Adult Fiction Tags : 

The World on Either Side by Diane Terrana

This Book Will Wreck You. In the Best Way. A Review of The World on Either Side by Diane Terrana

Some books you finish and set down gently. Like you’re afraid to disturb what just happened inside you. Diane Terrana’s debut is one of those books.

I’ll admit I’m not a neutral reviewer here. Diane was my creative writing instructor, and watching a teacher you admire put their own work into the world… it means something. This one I read with my whole heart.

Valentine is sixteen, gutted by grief, and done with the world. Her boyfriend is gone and she’s gone with him. Just a body in a bed. Her mother does the only thing she can think of: she books two tickets to Thailand and hopes the world is big enough to pull her daughter back into it.

It is. Barely.

What Terrana does so beautifully is refuse to rush Valentine’s healing. The teenage angst here isn’t dramatic for drama’s sake. It’s raw and recognizable and real. The self-imposed invisibility, the exhausting weight of pretending to be okay, the way grief makes everything feel both unbearably loud and completely silent at the same time. Any teenager who has ever felt like they were watching life from behind glass will find themselves on these pages.

Then comes Lin. A mysterious elephant keeper with his own hidden damage. And an orphaned elephant calf that needs saving. And suddenly Valentine, who couldn’t get out of bed, is running for her life through jungle… and somehow, inexplicably, running back toward it too.

The setting is lush and transporting without being a postcard. The adventure is genuinely breathless. The romance is earned rather than convenient. And Terrana’s prose moves the way grief actually does. Not in a straight line, but in unexpected spirals, with grace arriving sideways when you least expect it.

This one stays with you. Pick it up.

Published by Orca Book Publishers, 2019


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“I suspect there is another file…”

Category:Child Advocacy,Creative Writing,Foster Care,Memoirs Tags : 
The Match Still Burns by Judith Mallard

I was five years old. Someone decided that mattered enough to open a file. To remove me from the only home I ever knew.

Decades later I went looking for answers. Not justice. Not confrontation. Just… the beginning. Where it started. Why.

What I found was a file that knew I existed but not how I got there. A ward of the province. Where, when, and under what circumstances: unknown. Placed in a home. Why: unknown.

Unknown. The word appears so casually. As if a child’s origins are a minor administrative gap rather than the whole story.

And then this: “I suspect there is another file.”

They suspect.

Somewhere there is a file that knows what this one won’t say. And nobody thought that mattered enough to find it.

In writing.


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This Child

Category:Creative Writing,Lifestyle,Poems,Poetry,Writing Tags : 

by Judi Mallard….

 

I watched him stumble

I watched him fall,

I watched him cry

Then laugh through it all.

 

His delicate features

From his head to his toes,

Soft silky lashes

And a cute freckled nose.

 

He lights up my life

And brings me such joy,

Finds the simplest of pleasures,

In a rock or a toy.

 

So when life feels so crazy

And things run so wild,

It is then I must stop

And see the world as this child.

 

 

 © 2026 Judith Mallard


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blogger and writer, judith mallard

And Death Will Lose.

Category:Creative Writing,Death and Dying,Inspiration,Poetry,Writing Tags : 
Death and Dying, Bereavement, Loss, Hope

 

Life. Death.

I wrestle with this a lot these days.

Especially the death part.

And not out of morbid curiosity.

I try not to ask what if.

What if it has all been in vain?

I want someone to tell me,

tell me it’s going to be okay.

No one has done that yet,

or have they?

Then one day, the call comes.

She fought a brave battle.

And your heart sinks.

The pain. The confusion.

That fear you carry inside…

you cannot see it,

you cannot touch it,

and sometimes you cannot even name it.

But you know it is there.

You stumble in the dark

through a maze of broken glass,

each turn, each step,

more painful than the last.

We try to help each other:

whispered collections of jumbled thoughts,

fragments of comfort,

meaningless words.

I think.

I hope.

I pray.

Maybe I can wear it down,

this albatross of affliction,

this specter of death.

Even its name makes my skin crawl.

And still I stand here,

on this precipice of death and dying,

trying to understand,

trying to find some peace.

But would I change it?

Would I press pause, rewind,

or even delete?

Would I wipe it all away:

the memories,

her memory,

her love,

my pain?

If I were granted that power,

right here, right now,

would I do it?

No.

I would not.

I could not.

I would rather choose the pain

than lose all those memories;

the knowing,

the having,

the loving.

And therein lies the secret

of who wins this race,

this David and Goliath

of life and death,

of fear and faith.

Because if you choose love,

even while you are hurting,

then death will lose.

© 2026 Judith Mallard