Category Archives: Memoirs

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We Have A Voice.

Category:Child Advocacy,Foster Care,Memoirs,Non Fiction Tags : 

Let’s Use It.

When I was younger, I didn’t know how to speak. Who would even listen or believe me?

But child neglect and abuse is very real and it is an epidemic. People are aware but we need to be MORE aware and to talk about it consistently and openly.

We have to shine a light bright enough to bring Child Abuse & Neglect completely out of the shadows once and for all. And even for the adult survivors so that they can find peace and comfort in the fact that they are not alone and that they never ever did anything wrong or ever have anything to be ashamed of.

It is in our silence we condone the actions of others
I won’t be silent anymore.

Below are comments from my Facebook Writer Page.


Author Judith Mallard – Writer, Blogger Yes – I believe Social Services created the environment – from the top down. And I have no doubt that there were many social workers that even felt helpless at times. Perhaps even more that tried to do their best. But the results remained the same on a much broader scale – and children suffered. There is no excuse for that.


COMMENTS
 The courage you are displaying in speaking out is remarkable! If half of the adults who were complicit in the abuse by not protecting you and thousands of other children from monsters like Mrs. Dinn had shown any courage at all and stepped up to protect you, how much suffering could have been avoided? It enrages me! I hope they’re all haunted more than you and the other children who endured the unthinkable. And I hope that those who are responsible for the welfare of children now and in the future are listening and learning how to protect the most vulnerable innocents in our society.

COMMENTS  I was also a ward of the court. I spent many years in a home that should never have been allowed to foster children. My story is too long to get into but I believe other children who lived there can attest to some of the horrors. They took children in for the income only. They never showed any care, love , nurturing or compassion…never!

COMMENTS  Where can this book be purchased?


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Supreme Court of Newfoundland Decision 1992

Category:Child Advocacy,Foster Care,Memoirs,Newfoundland,Non Fiction

I have always been fascinated with the law. And never more so than combing through the unending stacks of research materials for writing my Memoirs.

I go through so many emotions. Disbelief is a common one for me. Especially when reading about the case of Mary Francis Dinn and how her legal team tried to launch a defense based on her age and what she suffered. As if that in itself made it ok or somewhat justifiable for her terrorizing so many children in her care as a foster parent.

I found these proceedings to be somewhat of a slap on the hand in comparison to the injustices that were done to so many innocent children. While at the same time – I was also grateful that at least some light was shone on these same injustices – even if only for a short while.

In reading the Order brought down by the Supreme Court – this has to be one of my favorite lines from the full 142-page document…

Finally, I thought, an adult really saw her as we had…

“A sadistic, remorseless person, who now happens to be old.”

COMMENTS: Judy, I will never forget reading the book Derek O’Brien put out a number of years ago & will always remember the part of what they (Derek & his brother) went through with this horrible mean person, Mary Dinn!!! You poor innocent kids will never forget & my heart certainly goes out to you all who went through such terrible attrocities caused by these mean people!!!1Delete, hide or report this

COMMENTS: But after all that……only 5 counts of assault!!!
She had 46 kids in her home……….what a wicked witch!!


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New Memoir by Judith Mallard - Non-fiction

Missing Pictures – Missing Pieces

Category:Foster Care,Memoirs,Newfoundland,Non Fiction,Self Publishing,Writing Tags : 

Missing Pictures. Can you help me? 

I am writing a MEMOIR of growing up in Newfoundland as a ward of children services in foster care and I am looking for assistance in compiling pictures for a photo section within my book. I’ve started this “missing pictures” campaign, with the hope that folks who may have grown up around me or went to school with me, may have pictures that they wouldn’t mind sharing.

A Memoir by Judith Mallard - The Match Still Burns
judy nolan – judy mallard – newfoundland

One of the pictures that you see here, was an image that I found one day posted on Facebook by a childhood friend living in the United States who had actually grown up right next door to me for years in Torbay Newfoundland. This gave me hope that there could be more.

I realize many years have passed since my growing up in St. John’s, Newfoundland, people have moved and photo albums have been carefully packed away in dusty forgotten attics or hidden in cobwebbed corners. Which is why I’m asking any and all, to share this post with as many people as you can.

Back then, we didn’t have the amazing social media platform that we do today that helps keep us all connected.

I am also keeping in mind, that perhaps not every household in Newfoundland is secretly stashing an actual picture of me (smile) – but if you do find me somewhere hidden among your own buried treasures, please do share.

My gratitude goes beyond words.

I will be self-publishing “The Match Still Burns” in Winter 2019 and I will be posting updates on both my social media platform and on my website, so please do feel free to either pop back for a visit or subscribe to our mailing list.

Do you know me?

From 1961 to 1967 I lived on Howe Place close to St. Joseph’s School in St. John’s as Judy Mallard. 

From August 8, 1967 to December 30, 1968 I lived at 2 Norma’s Avenue in Mount Pearl – with James and Mary Francis Dinn.

From December 30, 1968 to 1983 I lived on Manning’s Hill Torbay – both as #judynolan and as #judymallard. 

I welcome any and all images that you may have to help me recapture these memories of my life growing up in Newfoundland. Any information about your picture submissions with respect to content and timeline would also be greatly appreciated.

There are several ways you can send me your pictures:

Via Email to: missingpictures@judithmallard.com  OR

You can also upload your digital pictures via my website Contact page at:  http://www.judithmallard.com/contact/ – there is a form with the option of attaching a copy of your picture. – I’m also including the same Contact Form below. You can even take a picture of your picture with your phone and just upload it via our website or email it; AND

You can also private message me on Facebook at – https://www.facebook.com/judith.mallard

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Protect Our Children

Category:Foster Care,Memoirs,Newfoundland,Non Fiction,Writing Tags : 

by Judith Mallard

I’m pissed off and I’m angry. We all should be angry. Why aren’t we? Just take a look at today’s news headlines – see where the final chapter of a precious little girl’s life is finally laid to rest, stacked up against the other headline stories. It seems there is more of a kerfuffle over things such as – “Trump’s idea of buying Greenland” or “Harry and Meghan branded hypocrites for using private jets.”

Really? This is what is monopolizing headlines today?

I have never been a mom. But I have so much deep respect for all women who give everything that they’ve got to be the best possible mom they can be. I have heard countless stories of mothers working multiple jobs, raising children primarily on their own – and still never even consider giving up. I envy and admire their resilience and strength and I stand in awe of their courage and unfaltering love.

I have read that it “takes a village to raise a child” – but what happens when the village cannot – or chooses not to. What happens to those children then?

I will admit – I don’t have all the answers. In fact, I think I have more questions than answers. But maybe, just maybe if enough of us, keep asking more and more questions – than perhaps we can finally find answers that mean something other than a headline that triggers a million likes or whether or not Harry and Meghan are using a private jet – and who cares if they are. If I had access to one I would probably use it too.

As a child, I was one of many who was put into a very flawed and broken foster care system in the ’60s and ’70s on the east coast of Canada, St. John’s Newfoundland. Over the years I have heard random indications of “oh it’s because of the times, etc.,” which totally pisses me off. That’s like saying assaults against women and children is more acceptable “based on the times” – and THAT pisses me off even more.

Protect our children - foster care - children's services

I was one of five children
and the only little girl.
I had thought that would
make me special
– but it didn’t.

When I started writing my Memoirs, The Match Still Burns – it began as a journey of healing and trying to find answers. I just wanted to try and put back together all the broken pieces that kept popping up as I grew older. As I got deeper and deeper into my writing it became so much more. As a young child growing up in an abusive and neglected environment – I never felt I had a voice. But I do have one now. And even though I could not speak up for myself then – perhaps I can find a healing space and a place of courage in speaking up for other children.

There were so many of us left unattended and forgotten. We were the lost kids. And from what I heard – it paid well too. It had all the remnants of an easy and profitable cash and grab. Get the kid, grab the money and with little or no quality checks or operational monitoring. I’m sure there were people signing up in droves.

And it was not “because of the times” but because of the individuals and organizations that failed in their tasks and responsibilities to look after the vulnerable children that came into their care – and a responsibility that should always be held to the strictest and highest standards of accountability – but it is not. Or we would not be still telling these stories time and time again.

Where is our anger? This isn’t something that should be buried in one report after another that touts of all the amazing things that can be done and should be done. This is a call to action.

And still the stories come – day after day. One more horrifying than the next. When will it be enough and why hasn’t it already been seen as such?

Last week through many of my off the wall chats and conversations I heard someone casually make mention that “oh that was back then” – as if it was most likely just because of those times. Does anyone really believe this?

Which brings me to an article that I discovered on my newsfeed today, August 19, 2019.

“Oakville woman who allowed 9-year-old daughter to starve to death sentenced to time served (The Star) – you can read the full article here – https://www.thestar.com/news/crime/2019/08/17/oakville-woman-who-allowed-9-year-old-daughter-to-starve-to-death-sentenced-to-time-served.html

I can’t begin to say how many types of wrong and who to blame is peppered throughout this article. I wouldn’t know who to shout at first. The tremendous sadness of it all just sucker-punched me right in the chest. Hours later and I’m still trying to process it. How could this happen?

Then I came across another section in this heartbreaking story:

“Baldwin had strong words in her decision for the Children’s Aid Society, pointing out that the organization was supposed to see Kaylie at least every 30 days, but at the time of her death they had not been to her home in three months.

“Despite knowing Kaylie’s medically fragile condition, and being told directly by Meredith and Kaylie’s school that Meredith was struggling, the children’s aid worker allowed Meredith to cancel five appointments,” said Baldwin.

“These canceled visits should have been alert signs that all was not going well with Meredith and Kaylie. On two occasions, Meredith canceled, reporting that Kaylie was sick. What more information could the children’s aid have possibly needed to take action in this obvious crisis?”

Baldwin said the children’s aid had a responsibility to see Kaylie and had the authority to take her to a hospital for medical care if required.

“They failed to act upon their mandate in this tragic case,” said Baldwin.”

This tragic incident occurred in 2017 and was brought to trial in 2019.

From my own personal story, the first holding home that I was placed in was with foster parents James and Mary Dinn of Mount Pearl, Newfoundland. Go ahead – do a Google search – if you don’t know what you’re looking for, you will have a pretty hard time finding out anything about them. They too are buried down in one of those infamous “what we are going to do now” type of reports.

But perhaps these next few images will give you some insight.

child protection, child advocacy
Excerpt from Hughes Commission Report
child protection, child advocacy
child protection, child advocacy
Excerpt from Hughes Commission Report

So ask yourself this question – how can a foster home go from being “an excellent home & all children placed here improve greatly” – to being closely supervised and then closed – all within a one to two-year timeframe?

As you can see in this newspaper excerpt below – where there is smoke – there is definitely fire.

Protect our children - fostercare - children's services - newfoundland

And remember to keep in mind – this woman had 46 children in her care before they decided to close her down.

When I sought further information from my so-called legal guardians under the Freedom of Information Act – I received numerous documents that had me wondering if they actually took the time to read what they were sending me.

But the one section that stood out the most that had me shaking my head in complete and utter disbelief and boldly typed on their official agency letterhead was a section that read:

“Records indicate that you did eventually become a ward of the province. Where, When and under what circumstances is unknown.

You were in the care of James and Mary Francis of 2 Norma’s Avenue, Mount Pearl from August 8, 1967, to December 30, 1968.

Why you were placed here before eventually being placed with the Nolan’s of Torbay is unknown.”

Unknown? I can honestly say that I have no response to that – even now, years after reading that two-page letter that summed up my life in five tiny bullet points. How can you not know how you took legal guardianship of a young child?

My story began on August 8, 1967. And the sad thing is – even as a young child of six, I do remember how I ended up in that wicked woman’s house – I guess Children’s Services forgot to update their files.

So excuse my skepticism, if when asked if I believe that things like this still exist today, I will reply without hesitation and with a profound sadness – yes, most definitely I believe they do.

Rest in Peace Little Kaylie,
kisses & hugs.


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creative writing, non fiction, memoirs

Write Into Light 2018 – with Martha Beck

Category:Creative Writing,Memoirs,Non Fiction,Self Publishing,Writing Events Tags : 

One of my all time favorite writing, soulful experiences I have had to date. The connections and the wisdom inspired by so many within this group – will stay with me for a life-time. Thank you Martha Beck – and I will be back for another class session!

I will also be adding posts and links of some pieces of my writing that I was able to produce during this amazing course. I love being able to recommend writing programs once I have been able to experience it first hand and to be able to talk about it with others from a first hand experience.

I would be lost without all the wonderful writers, thinkers and philosophers who share their wisdom and knowledge every single day. It would be remiss of me not to pass that along.

“WRITE INTO LIGHT is the most intimate project I’ve ever created, and the most ambitious. You will learn the art of mining your own experience for wisdom that can genuinely help other people. It’s going to transform you. It’s going to create culture and community. It’s going to change the world. I’m not even kidding.” Martha Beck


April 2020
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